C'mon UK.

Shape up.

"I can't believe we're doing this just for food."

-My grandpa
Referring to missing the UK game so that we could eat luch,
keep in mind that we hadn't eaten in hours.

p.s.

[not my grandpa]

Elizabeth is my best friend.
She completes me.

She likes the gooey middle of the pop-tart, and I'll only eat the crunchy edges. She's a cheerleader, I play soccer. SHe gets excited about a sale at Hollister, and I always know when goodwill is having their half off sale. She sneaks out of the house to visit her senior boyfriend, as I stay home and cover for her, while e-mailing the pastor's son because we're not allowed to date.

Actually.. I'm starting to spaz.
I am really afraid for my life right now.

I let Elizabeth sneak out, and her mom keeps calling.
I havn't answered... what do I do?

Uh-oh.

She was supposed to be back here 10 minutes ago!
Keep her out of trouble, Chris!

sick of this..

So sick of this.

She says she trusts him.

And then she sends spys...

People who call us their friend.

Who do you trust?

When you don't know when you've crossed the line...

Their line.

Who do you trust?

when the most powerful people in your church gossip.

I HATE GOSSIP.

No, I did not have sex with Alex.

No, I am not corrupting Josiah!

No I am not try to exclude everyone else...

That's another thing that gets me,

Whenever I talk to him, people stay far waay from us.

And then we are excludeing them?

I don't think so.

Sorry.

Maybe you shouldn't take everything so personal.

Maybe I shouldn't either...

I am just so mad right now.

I can't even remember ever being this mad before.

I guess I knew what I was getting myself into.

I just feel so lost.

Is it supposed ot be this way?

He's the pastor's son.

I am the daughter.. of an O.T...

Oh my gosh.

Well, I may not be perfect Mr. Senior pastor,

But neither are you...

Neither is he.

We are all just saved by grace.

We havn't done anything wrong.

I am not even calling him.

Or calling myself his girlfriend.

Because i'm not!

Relax, ok?

Relax.

I just need to relax.

   God created everything. Even imperfect, impatient me. I don't like the outdorrs much, unless it's warm and brezzy, or there aren't any bugs..

Or when I'm in the city. I

'm a city kid.

But I appreciate thing like weeds growing through the cracks in the sidewalk, and Butterflys landing on someone nose when they weren't paying attention. I like to see animals running free.

I hate zoos.

I'l say it again; I hate Zoos. 

Caged animals is like being grounded... for life. And then expecting to be happy, and breed. Haha. I like the sound of trains when i'm falling asleep. And the sound of Ambulances and Police chashes tells me that i'm alive, and doing quite well. I fall asleep to the music of taxi cabs and charter buses.

I wasn't made for the country...

To be honest, I'm used to having everthing given to me. But I don't mind working for it. I like working. I like to keep busy, so long as I get a nap in every so often. I still take naps. I think of them as a priveledge.

I live life as a kid.

I know I am only fifteen, but alot is expected of me. I like to surpass expectations. I usually dont. But I like ot be liked. People influence me, but they don't define Me.

I am Kara Joy.

The product of my mother, and my grandmother. It would take more than a sarcastic remark to bring my hopes down. It would take more than boyish charm for me to let my guard down. I am stubborn.

I like to have my way, if I don't I might throw a temper tantrum.

I'm sorry for that. I don't have alot of limitaitons, I value the freedom my mom has given me. I don't test her, usually, I love her. I am my mom reincarnated weather I like it or not. I care about kids, I love a good yard sale and I hate drama. I HATE DRAMA.  Save it. I don't want it. I have a weird past. But it doesn't define me. I am letting Jesus do that. I belive he can.

Expecially since he created everything. Even imperfect, impatient me.

I NEED A DREAM INTERPRETATION.

   I don't remember where I was. But I remember being ready, ready for the worst; which would be the best in the long run. He had a gun to my head, asking me if i was a christian. Boldly I replied "Yes." He was so frustrated. "WHY?!" he said looking defeated. I don't remembered hat I answered, not good response i know. My mom came around the corner with my brother and sister, and she asked him if he was ready to take the kids. It was his weekend with them. I was mortified. I don't care whose weekend it was, he was not taking them! But he did. The Laws of the world won, yet again.
   I was angry. And very scared. I went to a restaurant to pray. I prayed all day, afraid for my life. I knew that today was the day I was going to be Martyred. But this restaurant turned into a night club. And my best friends were there, wasteing ther lives on alcahol. I left and stood putside in the cold. The music was still pounding and i oculd hear them laughing. Laughing ans they fell down the tunnel that lead them to rubble.
   Scott came up to me. Drunk. My best friend, drunk.  He was with his friend from school, who was a bad influence i guess.  Scott told me that some people were after me. They wanted to kill me. "Let's play hide and seek!" he said. I was infuriated, and crying. He told me that if we played their game, we could win. I believed him. And I hid in a water reservoir under some rocks. I could hear "them", whoever "they" were, splashing as the got closer and closer to me. I needed air! ANd i was starting to panic. I wasn't done on this earth. So I prayed for a miracle, and tok a deep breath and suddenly i could breath underwater.
   Hours later Scot told me I had won te game. This simple game of hide and seek had saved my life. Somthing didn't seem right, I ran home. Sabrina was there. SHe reminded me we had a soccer game. So we all pile dup onto the bus and drove up a mountain. The higher up we drove the darker it got. We passed Haley on our way up... Sabrina and Jen had already decded not to stay for the Varsity game. SO we played in the dark against an really bad team. Then my mom, pulls up ON the field in her little white mini van, and she really is angry. She really doesn't want me to be there. She says somthing about my grandparents and then takes me home.
   I remember going to art class, and mrs. Crum-cox tells me to clean the toilets with my art-work. It was horrible. She told me my future was not where I thought it was.

And then I woke up.